sapristi brains!
105kb aardvark01.wav
the lost emperor |
gad moriarty, you think of everything ...
77kb aardvark02.wav
the lost emperor |
we must take action, jeeeem!
270kb action.wav
we must take action, jeeeem!
112kb action.ogg
the string robberies |
quick! a new shirt!
47kb abdul.wav
tales of men's shirts |
i am adolphus spriggs!
40kb adolphus.wav
i am adolphus spriggs!
14kb adolphus.ogg
the great tuscan salami scandal |
i bet that's been marked for life by now
288kb advertising.wav
i bet that's been marked for life by now
136kb advertising.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
what rubbish!
105kb ah-moon.wav
the moon show |
oh, it's good to be alive! in 1985!
55kb alive1.wav
oh, it's good to be alive! in 1985!
18kb alive1.ogg
1985 |
it's good to be alive in 1985!
36kb alive2.wav
it's good to be alive in 1985!
13kb alive2.ogg
1985 |
ooooh! it's good to be alive in 1985!
36kb alive3.wav
ooooh! it's good to be alive in 1985!
13kb alive3.ogg
1985 |
oh ho! it's good to be alive!
239kb alive4.wav
oh ho! it's good to be alive!
66kb alive4.ogg
1985 |
now did you hear they're sending up a rocket to photograph the other side of you?
216kb all-lies.wav
now did you hear they're sending up a rocket to photograph the other side of you?
59kb all-lies.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
search america and look under the beds!
227kb america.wav
search america and look under the beds!
64kb america.ogg
the call of the west |
what ever happened ... ?
191kb bacon.wav
the fireball of milton street |
no thanks, i'm religious
25kb bagpipe.wav
no thanks, i'm religious
11kb bagpipe.ogg
the white box of great bardfield |
watch what you're doing, man!
565kb bagpipes.wav
the curse of frankenstein |
the ballad of the punch-up-the-conk
403kb ballad.wav
the ballad of the punch-up-the-conk
119kb ballad.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
i put up a sign saying, "henry crun, banker"
197kb banker.wav
i put up a sign saying, "henry crun, banker"
62kb banker.ogg
the great bank robbery |
it's not my turn, mate
200kb barrel1.wav
it's not my turn, mate
128kb barrel1.ogg
the great british revolution |
can I get outta this barrel now?
196kb barrel2.wav
can I get outta this barrel now?
124kb barrel2.ogg
the great british revolution |
everyone back to their own beds!
61kb bed01.wav
everyone back to their own beds!
20kb bed01.ogg
the affair of the lone banana |
the one i'm not in, min
322kb bed02.wav
the one i'm not in, min
93kb bed02.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
wait 'til I see that twit bert
460kb bertsmethod.wav
wait 'til I see that twit bert
196kb bertsmethod.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
i'll give you biff on conk! biff!
64kb biff.wav
i'll give you biff on conk! biff!
20kb biff.ogg
the call of the west |
23rd of november? that's my birthday!
258kb birthday.wav
23rd of november? that's my birthday!
74kb birthday.mp3
the silent buglar |
dear heavy blotter-outer-of-landscapes
235kb blotter.wav
dear heavy blotter-outer-of-landscapes
58kb blotter.ogg
the junk affair |
b-l-e-n ... t-n ... blunbintles
614kb blunbintle.wav
b-l-e-n ... t-n ... blunbintles
193kb blunbintle.ogg
the yehti |
sex: male - name: bogg, f.
152kb boggef.wav
sex: male - name: bogg, f.
45kb boggef.ogg
the greatest mountain in the world |
she's just coming to the boil ...
136kb boil.wav
she's just coming to the boil ...
68kb boil.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
is that what you tie ships to?
128kb bollard01.wav
is that what you tie ships to?
39kb bollard01.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
it's a touch of the bombay belly!
344kb bombaybelly.wav
it's a touch of the bombay belly!
102kb bombaybelly.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
it says, ‘manufacturer's warning: this chicken is a bombay duck.’
476kb bombayduck.wav
it says, ‘manufacturer's warning: this chicken is a bombay duck.’
172kb bombayduck.ogg
the last goon show of all |
i can't find my boot in the dark ... (excerpt)
343 boot.wav
i can't find my boot in the dark ...
979kb boot.ogg
the great tuscan salami scandal |
stop that naughty noise!
108kb brainworker.wav
the international christmas pudding |
just like our lovely little hotel at brighton!
257kb brighton.wav
just like our lovely little hotel at brighton!
42kb brighton.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
i like chips in brown gravy!
160kb browngravy.wav
i like chips in brown gravy!
68kb browngravy.ogg
the scarlet capsule (aka quatermass o.b.e.) |
what paper do you represent? brown paper!
192kb brownpaper.wav
what paper do you represent? brown paper!
84kb brownpaper.ogg
the scarlet capsule (aka quatermass o.b.e.) |
i've got two o-levels and a budgerigar
184kb budgerigar.wav
i've got two o-levels and a budgerigar
60kb budgerigar.ogg
the last goon show of all |
yes! and only 10/6d a packet!
93kb bugle.wav
yes! and only 10/6d a packet!
34kb bugle.ogg
the great bank robbery |
i lost my key, minnie!
609kb bungalow.wav
the fireball of milton street |
if you must burst ...
73kb burst.wav
if you must burst ...
24kb burst.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
it must be hell in there!
46kb caesar.wav |
it's my regimental march ...
97kb cashregisters.wav
it's my regimental march ...
31kb cashregisters.ogg
the last smoking seagoon |
a ... b ... c ... charlie ...
120kb charlie.wav
a ... b ... c ... charlie ...
92kb charlie.ogg
the international christmas pudding |
there's a chink in my armour!
89kb chink.wav
the scarlet capsule (aka quatermass o.b.e.) |
i'm not going to eat that!!!
1.33mb chipati.wav
the white neddie trade |
blatt!!
26kb chord-in-c.wav |
now move along there before i belt ya!
200kb christmas.wav |
penny for the guy?
381kb christmas2.wav
penny for the guy?
164kb christmas2.ogg
the string robberies |
two big cigars and they're both lit!
432kb cigars.wav
two big cigars and they're both lit!
127kb cigars.ogg
the greatest mountain in the world |
a civil servant, min
72kb civil.wav
a civil servant, min
23kb civil.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
you've heard of clapham common?
72kb clapham.wav
you've heard of clapham common?
23kb clapham.ogg
the sinking of westminster pier |
oi'm only the cleaner 'round 'ere
76kb cleaner.wav
oi'm only the cleaner 'round 'ere
36kb cleaner.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
you do it and you can clean up, mate!
98kb cleanup.wav
you do it and you can clean up, mate!
29kb cleanup.ogg
the call of the west |
oh! i'll clear off then ...
57kb clearoff01.wav |
i'll clear off, then ...
41kb clearoff02.wav
i'll clear off, then ...
15kb clearoff02.ogg
the shifting sands |
i'll clear off then ...
35kb clearoff03.wav
i'll clear off then ...
13kb clearoff03.ogg
the shifting sands |
mr clench!
158kb clench.wav
mr clench!
48kb clench.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
don't like clubbing, jeeeem
130kb clubbing.wav
don't like clubbing, jeeeem
49kb clubbing.mp3
the string robberies |
bring that thing closer, willya?
64kb closer.wav
the call of the west |
i think he's down in the coal cellar
300kb coal.wav
i think he's down in the coal cellar
99kb coal.ogg
the yehti |
everybody's got to be somewhere
428kb coalman.wav
everybody's got to be somewhere
152kb coalman.ogg
the last goon show of all |
you let me get a'hold of yer coconut shells ...
155kb coconut.wav
you let me get a'hold of yer coconut shells ...
46kb coconut.ogg
the call of the west |
come in
244kb come-in.wav
come in
104kb come-in.ogg
tales of old dartmoor |
nervous of burglars?
643kb coming-sir.wav
nervous of burglars?
224kb coming-sir.ogg
the mystery of the fake neddie seagoons |
we'll be havin' a ripe 'arvest of compost for 'im t'night
268kb compost.wav
we'll be havin' a ripe 'arvest of compost for 'im t'night
76kb compost.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
i say, you're cutting it rather fine ...
131kb copper.wav |
ahhhh, you're a square, buddy! (excerpt)
183kb corny.wav
ahhhh, you're a square, buddy!
243kb corny.ogg
the white box of great bardfield |
is this the shipyard of crun, bannister, and crun?
42kb crun.wav
is this the shipyard of crun, bannister, and crun?
15kb crun.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
henry albert sebastopol queen victoria crun
114kb crun2.wav
henry albert sebastopol queen victoria crun
45kb crun2.ogg
the telephone |
i'm cryptic ned
163kb cryptic.wav
i'm cryptic ned
50kb cryptic.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
silence singhiz!
98kb currypowder.wav
silence singhiz!
28kb currypowder.mp3
king solomon's mines |
i dunno, it's too dark to see
34kb dark.wav
i dunno, it's too dark to see
10kb dark.ogg
the albert memorial |
you callin' me a liar?
298kb deformed.wav
the call of the west |
oh that'll brush off, don't worry
188kb deposit.wav
oh that'll brush off, don't worry
36kb deposit.ogg
the last goon show of all |
he says he wants to die rich
118kb die-rich.wav |
and other disgusting noises ...
85kb disgusting.wav
and other disgusting noises ...
27kb disgusting.ogg
the greatest mountain in the world |
this disjointed conversation
409kb disjointed.wav
this disjointed conversation
150kb disjointed.mp3
the string robberies |
we must have the documents, you know? (excerpt)
200kb documents.wav
we must have the documents, you know?
427kb documents.ogg
the affair of the lone banana |
i don't like it, jeeeem ...
16kb dontlikeit.wav
i don't like it, jeeeem ...
12kb dontlikeit.ogg
the white neddie trade |
you know these blinds are drawn ...
245kb drawn.wav
you know these blinds are drawn ...
114kb drawn.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
my grandmother keeps a duck farm in kent ...
98kb duckfarm.wav
my grandmother keeps a duck farm in kent ...
30kb duckfarm.ogg
the burning embassy |
ooooo! that hurts, jeeeem!
252kb duckfarm2.wav
ooooo! that hurts, jeeeem!
108kb duckfarm2.ogg
the thing on the mountain |
you make a joke of me!?!
265kb duel1.wav
you make a joke of me!?!
89kb duel1.ogg
tales of montmatre |
stop sawing my wooden leg!
143kb duel2.wav
stop sawing my wooden leg!
50kb duel2.ogg
tales of montmatre |
so i see by your poor old paintings
143kb duel3.wav
so i see by your poor old paintings
50kb duel3.ogg
tales of montmatre |
ragged bum!?!
143kb duel4.wav
ragged bum!?!
50kb duel4.ogg
tales of montmatre |
here it is, two francs in unused socks
114kb duel5.wav
here it is, two francs in unused socks
41kb duel5.ogg
tales of montmatre |
ohhhh in french!
55kb duel6.wav
ohhhh in french!
21kb duel6.ogg
tales of montmatre |
i came in the council dustcart!
156kb dustcart.wav
i came in the council dustcart!
46kb dustcart.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
eccles ... do you remember, eccles?
576kb eccles.wav
eccles ... do you remember, eccles?
224kb eccles.ogg
tales of old dartmoor |
you seen the eiffel tower?
672kb eiffeltower.wav |
just about everybody, i think ...
132kb ein-humour.wav
just about everybody, i think ...
60kb ein-humour.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
i got an electric twit for christmas
48kb electric-twit.wav
i got an electric twit for christmas
28kb electric-twit.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
i am understanding the necessary of gainful employment
440kb employment.ogg
the string robberies |
sapristi! he's written in an empty gun for me!
200kb emptygun.wav
sapristi! he's written in an empty gun for me!
72kb emptygun.ogg
six charlies in search of an author |
oh well, moriarty ...
41kb etsequitur.wav |
i'm afraid you'll have to be evacuated
620kb evacuated.wav
i'm afraid you'll have to be evacuated
252kb evacuated.ogg
the scarlet capsule (aka quatermass o.b.e.) |
printed by j smith and sons, birmingham
473kb eyechart.wav |
although, you know sir, i must admit, me eyes ain't what they used to be
200kb eyes.wav
although, you know sir, i must admit, me eyes ain't what they used to be
63kb eyes.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
it's covered with feathers ...
740kb feathers.wav
the missing scroll (the lost music of purdom) |
it's a filthy lie!
84kb filthylie01.wav
it's a filthy lie!
60kb filthylie01.ogg
the junk affair |
... a stinking filthy lie!
76kb filthylie02.wav
... a stinking filthy lie!
52kb filthylie02.ogg
the junk affair |
foine ... foine ... foine ...
14kb finefinefine.wav |
piece of string!!!
249kb financial.wav |
which of all these fishbones is you?
153kb fishbones.wav
which of all these fishbones is you?
45kb fishbones.ogg
the call of the west |
i'll break every bone in my fist!
108kb fist.wav
i'll break every bone in my fist!
32kb fist.ogg
the last goon show of all |
we're flattening fish, sir.
669kb flat.wav
we're flattening fish, sir.
162kb flat.ogg
the kippered herring gang |
never mind those flip-flap knees, jeeeem!
128kb flip-top.wav
the £1,000,000 penny |
what other tiger's got two pairs of boots to wear?
329kb flu.wav
what other tiger's got two pairs of boots to wear?
108kb flu.ogg
the white box of great bardfield |
three goons in a fountain
437kb fountain.wav
three goons in a fountain
363kb fountain.ogg
the affair of the lone banana |
is equal to three fully-clothed miles in france!
72kb france.wav
is equal to three fully-clothed miles in france!
32kb france.ogg
the call of the west |
admiralty, third floor
124kb fredabrothel.wav
admiralty, third floor
34kb fredabrothel.mp3
ill met by goonlight |
will i never be free of them?
48kb freeofthem.wav |
russian frogmen dunnit, mate!
146kb frogmen.wav
russian frogmen dunnit, mate!
46kb frogmen.ogg
the sinking of westminster pier |
take a letter - in gargling fluid ...
407kb gargle.wav
take a letter - in gargling fluid ...
119kb gargle.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
get modern in six weeks - or get out!
80kb getmodern.wav |
better still, get out!
72kb getout.wav
better still, get out!
40kb getout.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
but you can't be human!
39kb ghosts.wav
but you can't be human!
14kb ghosts.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
your car's ready, sir
45kb gladys.wav
your car's ready, sir
16kb gladys.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
at least i can afford to run away from you
346kb gladysdarling.wav
at least i can afford to run away from you
156kb gladysdarling.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
our glorious anthem
252kb glorious-anthem.wav
the sleeping prince |
this gentleman is going to south america ...
292kb goodbye.wav
this gentleman is going to south america ...
80kb goodbye.ogg
the affair of the lone banana |
you're a good-lookin' fella, too!
304kb goodlookingfella.wav
you're a good-lookin' fella, too!
83kb goodlookingfella.mp3
the £50 cure |
havin' a good time!
344kb goodtime.wav
havin' a good time!
96kb goodtime.ogg
the greatest mountain in the world |
so that's commercial television
127kb grabbo01.wav
so that's commercial television
38kb grabbo01.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
eat grabbo dogfood
183kb grabbo02.wav
eat grabbo dogfood
55kb grabbo02.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
everything in the garden is indeed lovely ...
528kb grammatically.wav |
... i think i'll go home ...
261kb great thinker.wav |
i can't concentrate on the brown leather when you keep singing the 'green door', you know ...
539kb greendoor.wav
i can't concentrate on the brown leather when you keep singing the 'green door', you know ...
243kb greendoor.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
not quite green ... more of a dirty yellow colour
308kb greengrocer.wav
not quite green ... more of a dirty yellow colour
132kb greengrocer.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
i was practicing exploding myself for guy fawkes night
322kb guyfawkes.wav
i was practicing exploding myself for guy fawkes night
105kb guyfawkes.ogg
the great bank robbery |
put these in a jar of hair oil!
504kb hairoil.wav |
i do know a man with a hairy-bald head!
309kb hairy-bald.wav |
let's hang 'im now!
152kb hangim.wav |
i suppose he makes somebody happy ...
158kb happy.wav
i suppose he makes somebody happy ...
59kb happy.mp3
the sahara desert statue |
my heart is in the highlands ...
134kb heart.wav |
oh seagoon, the heat!
76kb heat01.wav
oh seagoon, the heat!
36kb heat01.ogg
the booted gorilla |
our water rates are high enough as it is
631kb herbal.wav
our water rates are high enough as it is
269kb herbal.ogg
the string robberies |
who do you think you're hitting?
106kb hitting.wav
who do you think you're hitting?
33kb hitting.ogg
i was monty's treble |
honouri tempus and gratis
165kb honouri.wav
honouri tempus and gratis
46kb honouri.ogg
under two floorboards |
mate! oww, me 'ooter, owww!
118kb hooter.wav
mate! oww, me 'ooter, owww!
38kb hooter.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
did you take your male hormone pills?
211kb hormone.wav
did you take your male hormone pills?
63kb hormone.ogg
i was monty's treble |
where's yer horse?
249kb horse.wav
where's yer horse?
71kb horse.ogg
the call of the west |
and in that order ...
132kb hullo-folks2.wav
and in that order ...
56kb hullo-folks2.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
must be something wrong with the line, jeeeem!
166kb hullo-jeeeem1.wav
the moriarty murder mystery |
... too much competition!
260kb idiot.wav
... too much competition!
64kb idiot.ogg
the stolen postman |
curse! the wrong idiot!
17kb idiot1.wav
curse! the wrong idiot!
7kb idiot1.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
my client has been taken ill with head
196kb ill.wav
my client has been taken ill with head
120kb ill.ogg
the junk affair |
remember, any other key is illegal
368kb illegal.wav
remember, any other key is illegal
106kb illegal.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
how dare you talk while I'm kissing your wife
121kb impressionist.wav
how dare you talk while I'm kissing your wife
43kb impressionist.ogg
tales of montmatre |
and stop flashing your insteps, min
164kb insteps.wav
and stop flashing your insteps, min
68kb insteps.ogg
the scarlet capsule (aka quatermass o.b.e.) |
someone has blundered
168kb intelligence.wav
someone has blundered
72kb intelligence.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
it's him, ned seagoon ...
133kb itshim.wav
it's him, ned seagoon ...
40kb itshim.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
thank you, jeeeem fans! thank you, jeeeem fans!
104kb jeemfans.wav
thank you, jeeeem fans! thank you, jeeeem fans!
31kb jeemfans.ogg
the spon plague |
a vice that was hue and unsavoury
held a vicar named lebarry in slavery
amidst lecherous howls
he would bugger young owls
that he kept in an underground aviary
173kb johnnyvivian.wav
the last goon show of all |
for he's a jolly good seagoon!
165kb jolly.wav
for he's a jolly good seagoon!
50kb jolly.ogg
the sinking of westminster pier |
he is count jeeeem (kidney wiper) moriarty ...
128kb kidneywiper.wav
he is count jeeeem (kidney wiper) moriarty ...
37kb kidneywiper.ogg
the spon plague |
she can't get the wood, either ...
131kb knasher.wav
she can't get the wood, either ...
47kb knasher.ogg
the white box of great bardfield |
strain!!!
63kb knees.wav |
i haven't got a knob on my side
664kb knob.wav
i haven't got a knob on my side
240kb knob.ogg
the last goon show of all |
i shoulda said that sooner, shouldn't i?
112kb land-ahead.wav
i shoulda said that sooner, shouldn't i?
48kb land-ahead.ogg
tales of old dartmoor |
come in ...
36kb laugh.wav |
ahh, let's see. omnibuses sold. yes, here's the first one we sold, 1873.
404kb ledger.wav
ahh, let's see. omnibuses sold. yes, here's the first one we sold, 1873.
276kb ledger.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
we turn left here, lad
51kb left.wav
we turn left here, lad
17kb left.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
one gill of a rare leopard oil! in newts ...
289kb leopard-oil.wav
one gill of a rare leopard oil! in newts ...
78kb leopard-oil.ogg
a christmas carol |
a good run for your money!
47kb licorice.wav |
all lies, do you hear me?! lies!
197kb lies.wav
all lies, do you hear me?! lies!
59kb lies.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
min! you turned the lighthouse light out last night!
224kb lightout.wav
min! you turned the lighthouse light out last night!
66kb lightout.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
'dey fallen in 'da wate ...
14kb little-jim.wav |
he says he doesn't understand what he's saying either
732kb little-jim2.wav
he says he doesn't understand what he's saying either
272kb little-jim2.ogg
the last goon show of all |
we fear you are locked in ...
1.87mb locksmith.wav
we fear you are locked in ...
697kb locksmith.mp3
the red fort |
from my latest longplayer ...
237kb longplayer.wav
from my latest longplayer ...
65kb longplayer.mp3
the £50 cure |
min ... min's falling to bits ...
180kb loosewoman.wav
min ... min's falling to bits ...
60kb loosewoman.ogg
the last goon show of all |
dear lord plunger, i enclose ...
190kb lord-plunger.wav
dear lord plunger, i enclose ...
43kb lord-plunger.ogg
the stolen postman |
of course you did, now wasn't that lovely
276kb lovely.wav
of course you did, now wasn't that lovely
168kb lovely.ogg
the great british revolution |
'e went to lumber some charlie in carshalton
47kb lumber.wav
'e went to lumber some charlie in carshalton
18kb lumber.ogg
the yehti |
'take yer hat off!' 'e says ...
274kb lumpy-bonce.wav |
the last tramdriver, norris lurker
69kb lurker1.wav
the last tramdriver, norris lurker
22kb lurker1.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
n-o-r-r-i-s l-u-r-k-e-r
302kb lurker2.wav
n-o-r-r-i-s l-u-r-k-e-r
87kb lurker2.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
the granada hotel? room 205?
220kb lying.wav |
sennapod and gunpowder soup?
190kb mad01.wav
sennapod and gunpowder soup?
43kb mad01.ogg
the stolen postman |
stop that modern foreign madrigal
102kb madrigal.wav
stop that modern foreign madrigal
32kb madrigal.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
what does it mean, henry?
540kb mean.wav
what does it mean, henry?
154kb mean.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
... and you see what you get ...
70kb measles.wav |
i will call them mick and pat (excerpt)
264kb mick-n-pat.wav
i will call them mick and pat
207kb mick-n-pat.ogg
the yehti |
are you taking the mickey out of me?
111kb mickey.wav
are you taking the mickey out of me?
33kb mickey.ogg
the junk affair |
hooray!
156kb missie.wav |
i am known as modern crun!
63kb moderncrun.wav
i am known as modern crun!
32kb moderncrun.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
money!!!!!
56kb money.wav
money!!!!!
136kb money.ogg
the international christmas pudding |
the man who broke the bank at monte carlo
237kb montecarlo.wav |
comte jim le 'steamed nuts' moriarty
121kb moriarty.wav
comte jim le 'steamed nuts' moriarty
34kb moriarty.mp3
the tay bridge |
moriarty, known as the mantovani of piccadilly
168kb moriarty2.wav
moriarty, known as the mantovani of piccadilly
72kb moriarty2.ogg
the scarlet capsule (aka quatermass o.b.e.) |
it's the difference between margarine
196kb morinarty.wav
it's the difference between margarine
60kb morinarty.ogg
the last goon show of all |
mmmmmmoooorrrrrnnnnniiiiiinnnnngggggggg...........
377kb morning.wav
mmmmmmoooorrrrrnnnnniiiiiinnnnngggggggg...........
107kb morning.ogg
the spon plague |
good morning ...
264kb morning2.wav |
yes, that's another 30 seconds gone!
322kb morning3.wav
yes, that's another 30 seconds gone!
95kb morning3.ogg
the seagoon memoirs |
i'm going out with a mountain
821kb mountain.wav
i'm going out with a mountain
224kb mountain.mp3
the white neddie trade |
you're not mrs quott
144kb mrsquott.wav
you're not mrs quott
64kb mrsquott.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
imperial army of yakabakoo!
360kb muster1.wav
imperial army of yakabakoo!
184kb muster1.ogg
the sleeping prince |
but it's blank
68kb mycard.wav
but it's blank
36kb mycard.ogg
tales of old dartmoor |
curse ...
70kb my-name.wav
lurgi strikes britain |
that was a nasty fall ...
329kb nastyfall.wav
that was a nasty fall ...
91kb nastyfall.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
up to his neck in it ...
262kb neck.wav
up to his neck in it ...
80kb neck.ogg
the sinking of westminster pier |
what a memory you have!
39kb neddy.wav |
must you?
72kb neeeeyakaboo.wav
lurgi strikes britain |
thirty-six cardboard replicas of nelson's column from the inside
39 nelson.wav
thirty-six cardboard replicas of nelson's column from the inside
14kb nelson.ogg
shangri-la again |
do you know ... do you know who you're talking to?
243kb norfolk.wav
do you know ... do you know who you're talking to?
70kb norfolk.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
hold yer nose then, buddy!
77kb nose.wav
hold yer nose then, buddy!
24kb nose.ogg
the call of the west |
i'd call you worse ...
312kb nothere.wav
i'd call you worse ...
88kb nothere.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
don't do dat eccles. it's not nice!
154kb notnice.wav
don't do dat eccles. it's not nice!
45kb notnice.ogg
the burning embassy |
don't do dat eccles. it's not nice!
400kb notnice2.wav
don't do dat eccles. it's not nice!
112kb notnice2.ogg
the junk affair |
open your wallet and say after me ...
98kb oath.wav
open your wallet and say after me ...
28kb oath.mp3
dishonoured - again |
i've gotta go ...
54kb ohhhhh.wav |
it was perfectly quiet ...
34kb oh-shutup.wav |
how's yer old dad?
35kb olddad01.wav |
how's yer old dad?
74kb olddad02.wav |
my old dad's okay, too ...
15kb olddad03.wav |
by jove. that water was taller than me.
112kb older.wav
by jove. that water was taller than me.
60kb older.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
i want some old-fashioned lovin!
148kb oldfashioned.wav |
i gave him a guarded ... oui
130kb olé01.wav
i gave him a guarded ... oui
39kb olé01.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
you mistook me for one
37kb olé02.wav
you mistook me for one
13kb olé02.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
so you suspect me?
101kb olé03.wav
so you suspect me?
31kb olé03.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
olé! olé! olé!
26kb olé04.wav
olé! olé! olé!
10kb olé04.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
you silly twisted boy, you ...
42kb olé05.wav
you silly twisted boy, you ...
15kb olé05.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
you can't stay here then
83kb olé06.wav
you can't stay here then
27kb olé06.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
graphic description
221kb ordered.wav |
you gotta go ...
53kb owwwww.wav |
time for your "owwwww"!
41kb owwww2.wav
time for your "owwwww"!
14kb owwww2.ogg
the burning embassy |
i've gotta go owwwww!
30kb owwww3.wav
i've gotta go owwwww!
12kb owwww3.ogg
the mystery of the fake neddie seagoons |
oh! that's better!
101kb oyster.wav |
we're ... we're oyster sexers (excerpt)
182kb oystersexers.wav
we're ... we're oyster sexers
609kb oystersexers.ogg
the sinking of westminster pier |
what is this chain covered charlie in the gutter?
128kb paree.wav
what is this chain covered charlie in the gutter?
43kb paree.ogg
the white box of great bardfield |
i've been tricked!
25kb pawn.wav
i've been tricked!
10kb pawn.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
it's pay as ya hern!
20kb payas.wav
the call of the west |
you must be mother-of-pearl
470kb pearl.wav
you must be mother-of-pearl
128kb pearl.ogg
the greatest mountain in the world |
it's no good, i'd better get a pencil and paper ...
234kb pencil.wav
the affair of the lone banana
see also documents.ogg |
min, min, the penguin wants to go out
66kb penguin.wav
min, min, the penguin wants to go out
35kb penguin.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
hazzah! at last! a plot!
120kb plot.wav
hazzah! at last! a plot!
37kb plot.ogg
the burning embassy |
there was once a beautiful moon
it was up in the sky, chum
when he said, "what's the time?"
they replied, "what?"
and the horse departed, leaving spon
117kb poetry.wav
the moon show |
do you know this woman?
388kb pokerplayer.wav
do you know this woman?
276kb pokerplayer.ogg
the dreaded batter pudding hurler of bexhill-on-sea |
pokey pokey pokey!
316kb pokey.wav
pokey pokey pokey!
208kb pokerplayer.ogg
the great british revolution |
blat!
35kb post.wav |
not a pretty sight!
12kb pretty.wav
not a pretty sight!
7kb pretty.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
i've been watching you for some time ...
88kb pretty2.wav
i've been watching you for some time ...
31kb pretty2.ogg
the yehti |
april in paree ...
260kb priceless.wav
april in paree ...
85kb priceless.ogg
the yehti |
you'll have to prove it, buddy (excerpt)
162kb proveit.wav
you'll have to prove it, buddy
133kb proveit.ogg
the yehti |
what time is it, eccles?
632kb punchup.wav |
now that you've asked me ...
137kb question.wav |
i know some fellas
536kb question2.wav
i know some fellas
175kb question2.ogg
the white box of great bardfield |
is punching poor bert ramjat-singh right up his conk!
436kb ramjatsingh.wav
is punching poor bert ramjat-singh right up his conk!
145kb ramjatsingh.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
i knows a bald-headed woman ...
41kb ratlablutz.wav |
oh i'm sorry, i'm a shipbuilder ...
461kb replica.wav
oh i'm sorry, i'm a shipbuilder ...
135kb replica.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
cheer up, jack! i'm alright!
174kb requestspot.wav
cheer up, jack! i'm alright!
48kb requestspot.ogg
the greatest mountain in the world |
it's not a request stop
93kb requeststop.wav
it's not a request stop
29kb requeststop.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
i'm trapped behind a rosewood piano, min (excerpt)
226kb rosewoodpiano.wav
i'm trapped behind a rosewood piano, min
408kb rosewoodpiano.ogg
the mystery of the fake neddie seagoons |
you rotten swines!
326kb rottenswines01.wav
you rotten swines!
97kb rottenswines01.ogg
1985 |
you rotten workmen swine, you!
269kb rottenswines02.wav
you rotten workmen swine, you!
79kb rottenswines02.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
you rotten horse swine!
182kb rottenswines03.wav |
you rotten swine, eccles!
48kb rottenswines04.wav
confessions of a secret sennapod drinker |
i'm not deaded this week!
274kb rottenswines05.wav
six ingots of leadenhall street |
you rotten swines (mumble)
77kb rottenswines06.wav
the pevensey bay disaster |
you rotten swine, you! i was hiding in the cannon!
286kb rottenswines07.wav
you rotten swine, you! i was hiding in the cannon!
84kb rottenswines07.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
and here is something for you
134kb rottenswines08.wav
and here is something for you
47kb rottenswines08.ogg
tales of montmatre |
sabrina in the bath
200kb sabrina.wav
sabrina in the bath
84kb sabrina.ogg
the scarlet capsule (aka quatermass o.b.e.) |
for a fee of 1/6d, we can salvage you!
147kb salvage.wav |
i can see you didn't come from sardines, jeeeem!
240kb sardines.wav
i can see you didn't come from sardines, jeeeem!
88kb sardines.mp3
the histories of pliny the elder |
not to mention sardines and kippers!
179kb sardines2.wav
not to mention sardines and kippers!
66kb sardines2.mp3
the sahara desert statue |
go and get the sardine tins and oil yourself
40kb sardinetins.wav
go and get the sardine tins and oil yourself
20kb sardinetins.ogg
the great bank robbery |
oh nurse!
253kb screens.wav |
now gentlemen ...
112kb screens2.wav
now gentlemen ...
52kb screens2.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
well now colonel, i suppose you're wondering why you sent for me ...
34kb sent.wav
well now colonel, i suppose you're wondering why you sent for me ...
13kb sent.ogg
the shifting sands |
where am i?
83kb seven-eh.wav |
sideways through the sewers of the strand
803kb sewers.wav
sideways through the sewers of the strand
228kb sewers.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
how can a man be that shape and live?
912kb shape.wav |
if you must sing, sing a shanty!
556kb shanty.wav
if you must sing, sing a shanty!
159kb shanty.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
i'd better take my shoes off ...
249kb shoes.wav
i'd better take my shoes off ...
69kb shoes.ogg
the junk affair |
let that be a lesson to you!
323kb singmodern.wav
let that be a lesson to you!
152kb singmodern.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
it's nice of you to think of my skull!
175kb skull.wav |
can you tell me ...
66kb sliced-ham.wav |
come down off the top deck!
161kb smoking.wav
come down off the top deck!
48kb smoking.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
you been practicin'?
103kb snap2.wav |
i'm mending your socks, henry!
293kb socks.wav
i'm mending your socks, henry!
88kb socks.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
my socks keep coming down ...
17kb socks1.wav
my socks keep coming down ...
8kb socks1.ogg
the string robberies |
we'll gather lilacs in the spring again
and walk together down an english lane
until our hearts have learned to sing again
when you come home once more
and in the evening by the firelight's glow
you'll hold me close and never let me go
your eyes will tell me all I want to know
when you come home once more
717kb song.wav
the audience and cast ...
(with apologies to poor old ivor novello)
196kb song.mp3
the £50 cure |
so rich ...
176kb sorich.wav
so rich ...
104kb sorich.ogg
the dreaded batter pudding hurler of bexhill-on-sea |
no good saying sorry when you're sorry!
164kb sorry.wav
no good saying sorry when you're sorry!
50kb sorry.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
i've heard that somewhere before ...
362kb sorry2.wav |
let me talk to him ...
80kb speakidiot.wav |
there are no subtitles ...
84kb spek-englisch.wav
there are no subtitles ...
40kb spek-englisch.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
are you a policeman?
268kb spelled.wav
are you a policeman?
172kb spelled.ogg
the dreaded batter pudding hurler of bexhill-on-sea |
i see that a man was sponned last night.
329kb sponned.wav
i'm feed up having my breakfast like this!
213kb sponned.ogg
spon |
where's my spoon?
232kb spoon.wav
where's my spoon?
148kb spoon.ogg
the great british revolution |
not when the train is standing in the station
156kb standing.wav
not when the train is standing in the station
68kb standing.ogg
tales of men's shirts |
it's a good job for you i can't spell!
84kb stoopid.wav |
yes! which way did it go?
108kb stopthat.wav
yes! which way did it go?
28kb stopthat.ogg
the last goon show of all |
tell them the story, count.
268kb story.ogg
scradje |
power of eyes! power of eyes!
391kb strain.wav |
do you mind if I have a strange request?
732kb strangerequest.wav
do you mind if I have a strange request?
308kb strangerequest.ogg
tales of old dartmoor |
you overpaid word strangler!
21kb strangler.wav
you overpaid word strangler!
9kb strangler.ogg
under two floorboards |
do you know lord stromboli?
67kb stromboli.ogg
what's my line? |
i shall always wear it
108kb support.wav
i shall always wear it
40kb support.ogg
the great bank robbery |
they can't get rid of their surplus idiots on me, you know
112kb surplus-idiots.wav
they can't get rid of their surplus idiots on me, you know
48kb surplus-idiots.ogg
tales of old dartmoor |
do you think they suspect him?
207kb suspecthim.wav
do you think they suspect him?
61kb suspecthim.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
you swine of a swine!
146kb swine.wav |
taxi!
236kb taxi.wav
taxi!
156kb taxi.ogg
the dreaded batter pudding hurler of bexhill-on-sea |
let's all have some indian - tea!
230kb tea.wav
let's all have some indian - tea!
68kb tea.ogg
ten snowballs that shook the world |
for the benefit of people without television ...
64kb television.wav |
you're not very bright ...
103kb ten-whats.wav |
oh, i'm terribly sorry ...
104kb terriblysorry.wav
oh, i'm terribly sorry ...
30kb terriblysorry.ogg
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
'tf'?
184kb tf.wav |
the cat wants to go out! (excerpt)
246kb the-cat.wav
the cat wants to go out!
395kb the-cat.mp3
the rent collectors |
missy give him three pints daily!
115kb the-end.wav |
what will be the end of me!
156kb the-end2.wav |
a quantity i specialize in
44kb the-least.wav |
no ... no, you can't get it ...
122kb the-wood.wav |
i quote from this plasticene monument of gilbert harding ...
181kb thighs.wav
i quote from this plasticene monument of gilbert harding ...
61kb thighs.ogg
the great bank robbery |
on bloodnok's advice ...
439kb things.wav |
thank you, miss throat
74kb throat.wav
thank you, miss throat
24kb throat.ogg
the last tram (from clapham) |
why are you wearing legs, jeeeem?
190kb tibetans.wav
the £1,000,000 penny |
he had to put 'em in cardboard boxes ...
160kb tigernutts.wav
he had to put 'em in cardboard boxes ...
55kb tigernutts.ogg
the white box of great bardfield |
oh! what a bit of luck!
309kb tnt-brand.wav |
and they suit you ...
98kb trombone.wav
and they suit you ...
35kb trombone.ogg
the great bank robbery |
is it on the tube?
309kb tube.wav
is it on the tube?
89kb tube.ogg
the affair of the lone banana |
great spladdocks of crab!
92kb tutor.wav
great spladdocks of crab!
27kb tutor.ogg
the treasure in the tower |
you silly twisted boy!
23kb twisted.wav |
you silly twisted boy, you ...
22kb twisted02.wav
you silly twisted boy, you ...
10kb twisted02.ogg
the whistling spy enigma |
yes?
53kb twisted03.wav
yes?
20kb twisted03.ogg
the yehti |
there. how's that? (excerpt)
60kb twisted04.wav
there. how's that?
133kb twisted04.ogg
the white box of great bardfield |
you heard him, henry ...
58kb unconktious.wav |
here! what was that great big explosion?
67kb underpants.wav |
the unkindest cut of all
108kb unkindest.wav
the unkindest cut of all
28kb unkindest.ogg
the last goon show of all |
all there is are dennis' unmentionables, that's all
70kb unmentionables.wav
all there is are dennis' unmentionables, that's all
26kb unmentionables.ogg
the spanish suitcase |
it's what you got up here that matters ...
161kb uphere.wav |
you must excuse the mess, sir
50kb us.wav
you must excuse the mess, sir
21kb us.ogg
the mystery of the fake neddie seagoons |
i'm walking backwards for christmas!
929kb walkingbackwards.wav
i'm walking backwards for christmas!
512kb walkingbackwards.mp3
the great tuscan salami scandal |
i'm walking backwards for christmas!
492kb walkingbackwards2.wav
i'm walking backwards for christmas!
179kb walkingbackwards2.ogg
the treasure of loch lomond |
look what has happened to poor uncle harry ...
230kb water01.wav
the rent collectors |
he's fallen in da water ...
113kb water02.wav
the call of the west |
he's fallen in da water ...
58kb water03.wav
the junk affair |
he's fallen in da water ...
140kb water04.wav
the missing battleship |
i can't see where i'm going ...
239kb water05.wav
i can't see where i'm going ...
70kb water05.ogg
ill met by goonlight |
he fallen in da water again!
38kb water-again.wav |
good king wenceslaus
417kb wenceslaus.wav
good king wenceslaus
653kb wenceslaus.ogg
the string robberies |
what time is it, eccles? (excerpt)
721kb whattime.wav
what time is it, eccles?
653kb whattime.ogg
the mysterious punch-up-the-conker |
whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat?!
22kb whatwhat01.wav |
my what what's are private!
153kb whatwhat02.wav |
look, please don't do that full face!
98kb whatwhat03.wav
look, please don't do that full face!
35kb whatwhat03.ogg
the great bank robbery |
which one of you two is mr crun?
288kb whichone.wav |
which do you desire, o'wicked one?
120kb wicked.wav |
then we've won!
170kb won.wav
then we've won!
50kb won.ogg
the junk affair |
you can't get the wood!
24kb wood1.wav
the mystery of the marie celeste (solved) |
it's alright, i can't get the wood
97kb wood2.wav
it's alright, i can't get the wood
35kb wood2.ogg
the white box of great bardfield |
people will think we're workmen
48kb workmen.wav
people will think we're workmen
24kb workmen.ogg
the scarlet capsule (aka quatermass o.b.e.) |
i couldn't remember any more of the words!
209kb yingtong.wav |
ying-tong-iddle-i-po!
33kb yingtongiddleipo.wav |
this means the end ...
162kb zepplin.wav
wings over dagenham |
foiled by zoom pills
167kb zoompills.wav
the moriarty murder mystery |
